The pros and cons of adult relationships just keep on going, so we will too. Here is the third segment in our trilogy of adult companionship.
Having another half can be fun, incredibly exciting, brilliantly new, beautifully dramatic, drastically boring and regularly frustrating all at the same time, so let’s go through another short list of what’s great, and what isn’t, about adult companionship.
As always we’ll start on a positive note with a pro:
Someone to confide in:
Everyone has one of those days where they need a good rant. We all have days at work or college, or just in our everyday interactions with people that can leave our blood slightly bubbling by the end of the day, and having someone offload your troubles onto without worrying (too much) about if you’re irritating them or even wondering if they care at all about what you’re saying, is the best part about having somebody there. They can confide in you as you can confide in them, offering each other a different perspective and viewpoint to help with the problem.
The con of this is:
They may not understand
As we said, having someone to rant too and offload your dirty laundry is nice, but the downside is they may not understand exactly where your coming from, or may even completely disagree with you.
Which is fine, as we also said getting a different perspective on a situation can be a very refreshing position to be in, but eventually this can take its toll. If somebody is regularly disagreeing with you, or never understands your side of the story, or chooses to challenge your every point, it may be an indication this person isn’t as into you as you thought, or perhaps you’re just better suited to other people. Slowly discovering this is never a good feeling but better late than sorry.
The next point shouldn’t ever really be a deciding factor if you get with someone, but the lack of it can cause huge strains on a relationship and even cause breakups and divorces, but if you’re helping each other it can also help build your lives and move forward together, That is:
Some people in relationships are more sharing than others, this doesn’t mean they’re more generous. Some people choose to share their money quite quickly, not really caring who is bringing in more or if their other half is spending what’s technically their money.
Other people are more reserved and will keep bank accounts and wages separate, while still spending on each other but keeping each person’s money separate, which is fine.
When two people have an income, paying for rent becomes easier, paying for food becomes easier and paying for pretty much everything becomes easier and you split the costs. This type of financial help with each other can help you imagine what your life with this person will be.
However, like we said, money can also be a contributing factor to a separation. Sometimes the strain one person is feeling, or if the couple is collectively in debt, this can lead to regular arguments and daily stress which will, over time, put a huge strain on your relationship.
You may find you don’t go out anymore, don’t enjoy the things you used to and spend a lot of time worrying about how your going to pay your bills and clear your debts, if you are having money trouble, it may be worth trying to calm down or clear before you enter a relationship, removing money as a worry (or trying your best too) can help ease your relationship along that bit more easier.
A pro, and an important (despite what some people say) aspect of a relationship is:
A healthy sexual relationship with your partner is usually an indication of a healthy happy relationship and we can all admit, sex is a pretty cool aspect of being in a relationship.
We all crave intimacy and long to make love to someone were physically and mentally attracted to. Great sex in a relationship can keep your mind happy and that happiness can, by extension, make your day easier, keep you dating, keep the spark in your relationship, keep things fun and exciting and also be part of the reason you get on with each other so much.
The downside to a sexual relationship with the same person is they may:
Couples who fight a lot, disagree on many things and generally just don’t get on will find there sex life is also damaged because of this. An unhappy mind in a relationship can be an unwilling body in the bedroom. If you are not having sex because you’ve mutually decided, for religious or cultural reasons, then blooming your relationship is still more than possible and many people do it every day.
However, if you’re lack of sex is because you fight, always tired and depressed or quite simply, you or your partner is bored with you. This can happen, especially when many people confuse lust and love. The initial relationship sparks people feel, can sometimes blossom into a beautiful long-lasting relationship.
Other times, it is a lust factor, an animalistic instinct of attraction drawing people together, and when this lust wears off, as it usually does, you may find yourself bored and craving a new partner.
Lust isn’t always the reason though, sometimes people get into a relationship with the initial spark as bright as lightning, but light a burning match, this doesn’t last long, and people find themselves thinking about cheating, moving on, or just fantasising about being with someone else.
This is maybe the time to grab the nettles and move on. Nobody likes the feeling of knowing somebody has got bored of them, but it’s worth noting, the reason people get bored is that they simply want something else, not necessarily that you aren’t good enough, so don’t worry if you’ve ever experienced this. Someone out there will fall for you passed a physical attraction and time passing.
Getting in a relationship can be exciting for all the new things your new lover may introduce you too, one of these new things may be friends. Sometimes being introduced to your partner’s friends can spark new friendships, and you may find yourself conversing and enjoying the company of people you perhaps in the past judged quickly or have always thought ‘isn’t your crowd’. Meeting new people is great, especially if you click, and now you and your partner and your new circle of friends can build some quality memories together.
Spending time with a new person can sometimes have you forgetting to check in with the people you already know. Nothing is wrong with getting a new partner and being excited at the opportunity of seeing them whenever you can, but what of your friends?
They see you less, you text less, eventually, you might find yourself with your partner pretty much all the time, glued at the hip, and this hasn’t gone unnoticed. If you’re lucky enough to have friends who are proud to see you in a healthy relationship and will still reply whenever you text them, then great.
However, not everybody takes so kindly to there best friend suddenly disappearing to enjoy someone else’s company all the time and can permanently fall out with there friend. Friendships like this are harder to fix especially if you only try fixing it when your relationship has ended. If you do find yourself suddenly caught up with no time to spare with your new partner, take time out to check on your friends and maybe even see them, good friends are hard to come by, and just like our relationships, we need to cherish them too.
So that wraps up our adult companionship trilogy if you find yourself meeting someone new and clicking with them, remember these pro’s and con’s, and if you find yourself relating to more con’s than pro’s, save both of you further heartache and move on.