Welcome to part 2 of ‘Pros and Cons of Adult Companionship’ where we run through a few pros and cons of what it’s like having the other half. As before let’s start on a positive note with something all of us, maybe not very admittedly, enjoy. Which is:
We all like to receive compliments. Social media is a testament to our need to please and be appreciated by our fellow earthlings. However receiving compliments as often as you’d like isn’t very likely unless you are in a relationship with someone whos really into you. Being told how smart you look for work or dinner, how perfect your hair or makeup is, and how great your talents are is a definite bonus to being in a relationship.
Those mornings where you feel like a slug, getting out of bed is like shifting a two-ton boulder with your bare hands, motivating yourself to do your chores feels like murder and being productive seems like a near-impossible task, these are the moments having someone there to say lovely words in your ear to motivate you can be the difference between wasted time and productivity, which will also help your hedonic calculator stay on the side of pleasure and happiness.
The downside to this however is:
Sometimes you’ll find, especially as time goes on, that your other half is no longer as confident in themselves or as sure about how attracted to them you really are, physically and mentally. Which is why it’s important to reassure someone, that you are not only still into them, but they are perfect for you, and whatever attraction first sparked the magnetic energy that bought you two together is still a deciding factor in your remaining presence.
This can get tiring however, constantly reassuring another person can feel exhausting, especially when your own confidence and belief in yourself is slipping. Trying to maintain someone else’s mental health can cause a strain on your own. If you find yourself giving compliments for the sake of it, and the words you choose become less personal and more generic, it may be time to start working on yourself again. It’s important to not let your own self-worth slip trying to maintain someone else’s, especially if you feel like you’re repeating yourself daily and the compliments are falling on deaf unappreciative ears.
Moving to a more positive note again we have:
‘’Settling; isn’t really a word with positive connotations when it comes to companionship. Nobody wants to feel like they were just ‘settled’ for, However, in this case, were talking about settling into the relationship.
In the beginning stages of a relationship everybody presents themselves with the best version of them. The cleanest, least irritable and just all around the best representation of themselves. You could even say in the beginning stages of a relationship you are simply meeting the best representation of the real person you are slowly going to be introduced to. Along with this comes a lot of unsure thoughts, even though it’s all part of the fun of getting to know somebody the early stages are filled with ‘ should i reply yet?’, ‘ Should I say this?’ ‘Is this joke too far?’, it’s very easy to not really know what will mess up your chances with the person you like. However after the dust settles a bit and you both get more comfortable with the relationship, you don’t have these worries anymore. Anything stupid you’re going to say can be said and at this point your pretty certain you can say that joke you weren’t sure was too far and your other half will still stick around. That level of comfort is appealing and being able to completely just let go and be your stupid self without wondering about somebody leaving you or judging you harshly is the best part about settling into a relationship.
Moving onto a con, and one of the more serious cons is:
When you choose to be the other half in a relationship, you are partaking in an agreement (unless otherwise mutually agreed) that you intend to remain loyal and faithful to the person you’ve chosen. Cheating or being cheated on is a pretty crappy situation for both parties and nobody wants to be the person who gets cheated on. It can leave you feeling worthless and have you questioning what you did wrong. However being unfaithful isn’t always the deciding factor in strain on a relationship, sometimes the act of remaining faithful can push people to not want to be in a relationship anymore
You may find you and your partner slowly drifting mentally while you are connecting with other people, or you may find your partner feels distant and they might have connected with somebody else. Staying faithful in a relationship you are unhappy in can also be detrimental to your health and the health of the relationship because who wants to continuously stay loyal only to come home and be accused of cheating anyway. Sometimes this can backfire for the accuser and leave the accused with a mentality of ‘ if you’re going to call me a cheater, i might as well be one’, if you find yourself in a situation similar to this it’s better to just leave the relationship rather than hurting both of you in the process and maybe even dragging other people into your toxic relationship.
Staying faithful is a decision made easy when you don’t focus on what your partner does when they’re not with you, but rather focus on what they do when they are with you.
So there we have it, part two of the pros and cons of being in a relationship, and remember your relationship is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you, if the spark has gone, accusations are flying in every direction and you’re no longer excited to talk to or see each other, it may be time to call quits and find a new flame.